Thursday Mornings

It's a fact that this photo has been used innumerable times throughout the history of this blog.

But

It's also a fact that it nicely encompasses two of the great beauties of this world - coffee and note-taking.

And in that vein, let us delve into the joys of {Thursday} mornings. Whether you've got a morning off, or merely fantasize about the idea on your a.m. commute, here's a little list of à-faires for your cozy bed-in.

To-Do

Wake up at completely out-of-character time.

Hit snooze thrice - minimum. Savour those extra minutes of shut-eye. Mmmm, bliss.

Take your time getting out of bed, and either cover up your skivvies with a parka for a jaunt to your closest coffee dealer, or slip on a robe and make yourself a cuppa. Bring this coffee back to bed, and plug your lappy-tappy {child-speak for laptop} into its charger. Add to this melange a couple magazines and whatever it is you eat for breakfast {Peek Frean's Digestive Biscuits! The chocolate side is so melty-delicious with something warm to drink}.

Settle into your GoogleReader and while away the hours.

Stay cozy, chéries.

How to Perk Up

Peanut M&Ms and Arizona Green Tea

Done.

Lash Out!

Looking for too-good-to-be-true, yet oh-so-natural lashes? Look no further, ladies, than your trusty Q-tip.

You heard me.
Next time you yank that mascara wand outta the tube, run the bristles over a Q-tip to remove excess, and coat your (curled!) lashes. Now, curled means with a curler. Regardless of how curly those lashes might already be, this tool is quipped as pure magic by too many pros for you to go all diva here. Suck it up and curl. Squeeze over lashes real real close to the eyelid, and repeat as many times as you can moving slowly outward.

Mascara - wipe then swipe.

Now take a lash and brow groomer to run through your lashes, just to make sure, and of course to brush out your brows. Nothing says sophistication quite like a well-kept brow.

Voilà!

How To Brunch

You've set the time aside. You've chosen the resto. You've even booked the table. You're about to brunch. Welcome, dear friend, to the single most fabulous meal there is or will ever be.

When setting out on this big adventure, there are a few things to keep in mind.
1- Your budget
2- Your culinary tastes
3- Your outfit

Other than that, however, all one must worry about is having a wonderful time dining with friends. Nothing goes together so well as a good meal and good company. So, whether you're meeting for this mid-morning meal to dish the details on a certain someone, to catch up with a good friend, or simply to revel in your own glamour, tuck in and enjoy, while keeping some of these tips in mind.

1- Money
A touchy subject as usual, but always worth addressing so that you can a) have some for later and b) feel good about the way you're spending it. Choose a brunch spot that fits your wallet - you don't want to be seated only to have that awful feeling of being in over your head wash over you as soon as you crack open the menu. Google brunch spots in your neighbourhood, and their sites will usually include a menu link.
If the menu says "Sunday Brunch," you can usually expect it to be a little pricier, just because of the lovely tradition that goes along with the specifically Sunday brunch.

2- Your culinary tastes
As with before, you can always rustle up a menu on Google to check out your options before you go. But if you're an anything-goes kinda gal, head off to your chosen destination without fear. When the menu comes around, however, there are still a couple tips to be had. Depending on when you choose to dine, you will have varying levels of hunger pangs. Typically, one does not eat before brunch, but if you've left it quite late and happened to have munched on a small something to appease your stomach, you might not require an inordinate amount of food. To keep it classic, always order a mimosa. This is the brunch cocktail - three parts champagne, two parts chilled OJ - mmmmmm. Eggs benny are always a good call (That's Eggs Benedict - poached eggs on english muffins and a slice of ham or bacon, or sometimes even smoked salmon, topped with hollandaise sauce) and of course there's French Toast for all you sweet tooths. Of course, it's your meal, it's your money - order what you like. But unless you're allergic to citrus, a mimosa is just polite.

3- Your Outfit
Dictated as always by inumerable factors, this is up for debate. You're going to look good, of course, but you have to think about your company, your venue, whether or not it's a special occasion, etc, etc, etc. Blair Waldof-esque outfits are purrrrfect for society bashes, next-morning wedding party brunches, Christmas or Easter throwdowns, etc. Think bows, lace, cream-coloured garments and nicely pressed anything. If it's a more casual event - like brunch with pals, a roll-outta-bed-get-me-some-food-type ordeal - throw a neat blazer over a flouncy shirt or sweater with a slim-fitting pair of trousers and boots. Because it's morning, it's nice to remind people of the sweetness of said time of day, so mimick those rays of sunshine with light colours and lovely little touches of silk or ribbon. Parfait.

Happy Brunching!

Sippin' in Style

Calling all classy ladies - this ain't no flip cup tournament. It's time to learn how to suavely sip - what's our poison, you ask? Why it's none other than the quintessentially chic and oft-dreaded
Dirty Martini

Three Ways to Knock One Back

Whether it's your first attempt at this beverage or you're a veteran of the craft, follow these little tricks to add a bit of flair to your bar presence. Introducing...

The Classy Lady
-
The Vixen
-
The In-Over-My-Head-Get-Me-Out-Of-This-Now

Firstly: For the Sophisticated Set
A handy style for high society bashes, moments of pure luxury or for general maintenance and upkeep of a good image. Sit with your legs crossed demurely at the ankle (as Julie Andrews/the Queen of Genovia deems a-propos. Shoulders back, head held high - cocked to one side with one eyebrow raised when questioning someone's oh-so-intriguing views/opinions/commentary. If you are in a mingling situation, maintain eye contact with your conversation partner always, but cast a downward glance when sipping so as not to come off as... crazy. Once finished your sip, pop your eyes back up, give a little (really little) raise of both eyebrows and a teensy-weensy smile. Roll the liquor around in your mouth discreetly and savour the bitterness. As for those olives, do not chomp them off the little sword, or whatever else is holding them together. Leave it in your glass. Ladies slop up every last drop. It's tacky, and an activity best conducted in the privacy of the washroom, if you absolutely must.

Secondly: The Sexy Swig
This is where the fine line between low-brow and impossibly alluring really requires a great deal of focus and attention. Because you're going to pull off some unorthodox and previously shunned tricks. And you're going to do so masterfully, with grace and dignity. We said sexy, not skanky. Hold your glass in the hand you won't be using to swish and flick about as your natter away about your posh lifestyle to whichever hunk has been lured in by your charms. If you're in a not-so-conversational situation (a show, for instance) simply narrow eyelids and cast smoky glances at your beau of choice- but keep them space few and far between, and you'll have him just starving for more. When you go for your initial sip, boldly look your man in the eye for two full seconds as you slowly raise the liquid to your lips, then lower the eyelids and glace sidewards. Damn, girl. Now we deal with the olives. When you are quite finished with your cocktail, remove the sword holding your olives captive and press one olive onto your tongue, remove quickly but not like you're panicking, chew it once, twice, three times, slowly and confidently (WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT), swallow. You'll have the gents lining up just for the honour and privilege of watching this feat of artistry once more.

Thirdly: For The Girl Who Bit Off More Than She Could Chew
Rest assured, you are not alone. Martinis are not for the feint of heart. Relax, you'll be okay. You're not going to waste your money, you're not going to be humiliated. If you simply cannot stand it, want nothing to do with it, don't even like the idea anymore, put it down on a passing tray or a table (make sure there isn't anyone dining at that specific table, however). If you've just gotta finish it, for the status, for the image, for the sheer joy of getting through it, you're going to have to pace yourself and brace yourself. The secret lies in the olive. Something of a follow-up to the main event in the previous two methods, the olive gains guardian angel status now. Get the olive in your mouth. Discreetly, but not like you're ashamed of it. Chew once, manoeuver to nestle under your tongue. Do not converse with anyone while attempting this, merely nod and smile, nod and smile. Every time you knock back your little glass of kryptonite, chew your olive. The saltiness will interupt your mouth from any real contact it could make with the liquor. Pray you've got more than one olive to work with, but make due with what you've got if the fates have turned against you.

So next time you hit the bar, raise a glass to Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. May the force be with you.

How To Have A Night In

Cher Horowitz be praised!  In this clueless queen's immortal words,

"I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out than when I go partying.

Maybe because my party clothes are so binding..."

When the bags under your eyes seem more like suitcases and your speech has been reduced to hums, haws, and yawns, it's safe to say a well-deserved break is in order.

And when it's all you can do to keep away from PhotoBooth, Sims2, Iron Chef America, or (Insert Guilty Pleasure Here), a night spent in a vegetative state is just plain old healthy.

So, ladies, throw on a pair of soft, worn-out sweats and grab your boxed sets of Gossip Girl - a night spent at the homestead is worth two in the club.

How To Go To Court

Maybe you don't have a criminal charge.

And maybe you're not a lawyer, judge, typist or Elle Woods.

But by golly, you too can go to court!

Here are just a few tips, should you feel inclined to experience our country's vessels of law and justice.

Don't chew gum

There is no excuse for slappin' your gums in court.

Turn off your cell phone

As in, off. Vibrations make noise too and it's definitely not 'cool' with the judge that your phone goes off.

Speak quietly, or not at all

You never really know who's listening.

No committing crimes

Wrong place, wrong time.

Oh, milieu!

If Wednesday is hump day- that final shove before the weekend rolls around- late February to early March must be hump season.  When the groundhog can't make up his mind and neither can Mother Nature, it's time to take matters into your own hands and force some spring into your step- and your wardrobe.

Top Five Hump Season Items

1. Trench coat - for the balmier days
2. Tough-chick boots - for the slush that never melts
3. Long, winding scarves - the easiest item to peel off or wrap on, weather dependent
4. Socks - anywhere from one to four pairs to match the yo-yo-ing thermometer
5. Tights/leggings - double up on these ones too, they go with anything

Lay It On Me

For days of dashing about town, or even an afternoon of leisurely strolls through the garden, dressing for the one-minute-arctic-next-minute-tropical weather system that blesses this time of year is all about layers.  Carry a big bag to tuck layers away when they're no longer necessary, or to stash them for later.  Layering isn't just about warmth, though.  There is a way to go about it with flare.

Tricks of the Trade - How To Layer

• When keeping to similar colours or shades, vary the textures for a neat effect.  Greys and blacks look great together, but kick it up a notch with a mix of thick knits, thinner cotton blends and well-placed bits of lace peeking out.
• It's also a good idea to keep in mind that wearing four wooly sweaters will create a different, slightly puffier look than, say, a tank top, a t-shirt and a cardigan.
• When layering lots of different colours, make sure they complement each other.  Orange and blue are friends, but they're fickle.  Not always a safe bet.
• Brights are beautiful!  The skies may be perpetually stony, but that doesn't mean your outfit has to be.  Bright mossy green, candy-apple red, sunshine yellow- it never ends.  Stay sleek by balancing brights with neutrals, black, white and dark grey are best for the sharpest contrast while beiges, browns and creams are nice for a milder look.
• As usual, have fun.  Experiment with different patterns (plaid and paisley!  do it!) and items you haven't worn in a while.  

Stay warm, all you layered ladies!

How To Dine Solo

Elbows off the table, earbuds in your pocket and books safely stowed in your bag, take twenty minutes (or more!) to yourself for a small something- on your own.

Whether you're snacking on the curb between classes or stopping for a spot of tea mid-gallery-prowl, dining alone is a skill held by few. Last-minute hunger pangs or a planned affair, grabbing a bite to eat sans company is a luxury to be experienced if not regularly, at least once in your life. Sad? Most definitely not. Undeniably posh and mature? That's more like it.

Keep these ideas in mind and you'll hit the café toute seule more frequently.

1. Don't fidget. You've already decided to go at it alone, so now is not the time to "appear" preoccupied - put the books away, wrap those t9-happy fingers around a fork instead, and enjoy your meal!
2. Order well! You're not splitting the bill, you don't have anyone to impress or trick into thinking you eat like a bird, so choose a dish you're going to love.
3. Have an idea of what you'd like to start with before you are seated. You'll look/sound like you've got your act together when you coolly say, "I'll take an Early Grey while I decide" or "I'd just love a glass of your house wine, please". Side-note: As always, keep your ID close at hand so you don't look like a fool rummaging in your purse or pockets.
4. Don't go nuts with the breadbasket. This in fact applies to all dining experiences, but is always worthy of note. You're at a restaurant to eat a meal, and that meal is not a breadbasket. Stay. Cool. Please.
5. A few quick somethings to do between bites: dab your mouth with your napkin (which is undoubtedly in your lap at this point), sip on your water, sit back and enjoy, glance about the space and take in the ambiance.
   

What To Wear When Out To Eat

• For the café: Be cliché, wear a beret! Button-down shirts and cigarette pants are lovely, too, with a neat pair of flat boots and a scarf tossed non-chalantly about your neck.
• For the sandwich shoppe: Trousers and a nice sweater, market bag and cloche hat.
• For High Tea: A print skirt and tights, a lacy camisole with a sturdy cardigan, a pair of flats and a smartly-placed bow.
• For curb-side noshing: Leather bomber, fluffy sweater, straight leg jeans tucked into salt-stained boots of perhaps a pair of high-top kicks. Throw a dash of flannel in there and NYLON will snap a picture faster than you can say "I swear I'm not a hipster..."
  

Have a lovely meal, ladies. You deserve it!

They Do It Better In The Maritimes

With the fall term behind her and nothing but time on her hands this Exam Break, Romance Correspondent Maddie Webber takes to the skies for a sisterly visit to the East Coast.  Take a look at her photographs and travel tips.

All photographs by Madeline F Webber, taking a break from the black-and-white norm, since these colours are too good to resist.

Tip # 1

If you're a little timid to fly by yourself, don't be.  That is simply the only way to put it.  There are to-ooons of people who are more than happy to help you find your way, or answer your questions- that's what they're there for!

Tip # 2

Don't bring packaged foods onto the plane.  This is the mistake I made.  I figured that I'd be really hungry during the two-hour plane ride, so I bought a bag of SmartFood, unbeknownst to me that the air pressure changes as altitude changes.  So since the smart food wasn't vacuum-packed, it almost burst by the time I pulled it out of my bag.  Luckily, I had a marker to pop the bag open.  Unluckily, it sounded like a gun shot... on a plane.

Tip # 3

Bring your camera!  You don't have to be a good photographer to take a good picture on a plane.  The skies are so beautiful and the views are surreal.

Tip # 4

Pack more than you need.  Although this may contradict everything everybody else has said about packing light, I think it's more important to have more than you need.  Especially if you have an unexpected flight cancellation.

How To Cure A Hangover

Though as ladies we are very infrequently too drunk, there are moments in every mere mortal's life that simply slide under our self-control-radar.  So, when a night on the town results in a bender to end all benders (bender=slang term for bout of heavy drinking) you'll need these tips in your arsenal to beat the morning-after blues.

1. Never.  Ever.  Drink.  On an empty stomach.  There is no cure for the pain and embarrassment you will suffer resulting from the endless hours of, to put it gently, vomiting you will doubtlessly face.  This isn't a guideline, this is a rule.
2. Before assessing your physical situation, you're going to need to do some social damage control.  Check your sent texts and outgoing calls list and make any necessary calls.
3. Just before your pretty little head hits the (preferably warm, clean and fluffy) pillow, drink about two times your body weight in water.  Hydration is a hangovers arch-nemesis and you're sure to find this tried-and-true technique will do the trick time and again.
4. Do not, do not, do not take Tylenol when you've been drinking.  No matter how much your head hurts, it's very dangerous to mix acetaminophen with alcohol.  Have that bottle of Advil at the ready on your bedside table though, you'll need it.
5. If you do, however, still feel a little icky when you rise and shine, reach for the elixir of life: water.  While you're sipping away, put a little tomato soup on the stove- it's full of electrolytes that will restore you to health in no time.  Ruler of the hangover-helper food world, however, is naan.  You've all seen the President's Choice ads, you know where to find it (your closest grocer who stocks PC products, that is) - you have no excuse not to try it (unless you're allergic to gluten).  
6. Eat a slice of bread before bed.
7. Don't drink so much.
8. Sleep it off.  You might not have the luxury of being able to take a day off, but if you can get away with it don't leave your comfy bed.  Curl up with a good read if you can't drift off to dreamland, just make sure you're resting your weary soul.

If, however, you plan on facing the cruel, cruel world...

If you've got school, work - or worse: a family reunion - the next day, you must summon all your strength and willpower and face the day.  Follow any of the above tips that apply, hop in the shower, and take a good bit of time with your makeup.  You're going to need moisturizer in a big way, and puh-lenty of concealer.  Curl your lashes, dab some shimmery white shadow in the inner corners of your eyes and just below your brow, this will open your eyes up.  Don't attempt anything too dark, and keep that liner and mascara far, far away from your lower lashes, you'll regret it guaranteed.  Slip into a lovely comfy sweater and a nice pair of jeans, keep shoes as flat as possible.  Keep warm, keep hydrated, eat as much as you can hold down.  You're going to be okay.  You made it through the night, after all.

Happy Hangin'!

Bust Out The Guacamole, It's Superbowl Sunday!

She's glam, she's posh, she's into football.  Claire Webber brings us her tips for Superbowl Sunday.

1. Pick a team and stick with them.  There's nothing more annoying than when girls cheer for the team that's winning.  You can't change your mind once the coin is flipped.  Pick and stick.
2. If you're only interested in the halftime show, watch the game for five minutes or so before and after Bruce Springsteen takes the stage- nobody will be able to tell!
3. Don't go crazy with delicious Superbowl food in the first five minutes.  There are about three hours of game time, save some food for later.
4. It's the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals playing. The Steelers are favoured to win by 6.5 points, but the Cardinals have a lot of heart going in as the underdogs.  [Quick note: dropping names and stats like these are your best bet for looking/seeming like you know something about football- just make sure you have petty tasks or distractions at your disposal in case you're too believable and someone wants to actually converse]

A Few Key Players To Know

Ben Roethlisberger: QB (Quarterback) for the Steelers.  The Quarterback is the one who throws the ball.  This particular QB is also known as "Big Ben" because he's one of the largest QBs at 6'6".

Troy Polamalu: Safety for the Steelers.  This means the last line of defense.  He is known for his fluffy hair that comes out the back of his helmet.

Kurt Warner: QB for the Cardinals.

Larry Fitzgerald: Wide Receiver for the Cardinals.  The Wide Receiver is the one who runs and catches the ball.  This one has dreadlocks coming out of his helmet and is a huge play-maker.

I'm going with the Steelers because I like Big Ben.  Last time he went to the Superbowl, he didn't do so well, so we're all hoping for better luck this year.  (We meaning the football-loving community who regularly watch the game).

Good luck keeping your facts straight and timing your delivery- if all else fails, just cheer when they score and keep quiet at all other times...  Also worthy of note is that in the States, 16 football fields worth of guacamole are consumed on Superbowl Sunday.

The XLIII Playlist

Turn off your bloody music and turn up the TV.  It's the Superbowl.  Pay attention.

Good House Hunting

All the way from the east coast (Halifax, to be precise) Claire Webber brings us a few tips on house hunting.

1. Find a good landlord (i.e. not a jackass).  You'll find it much easier to live under the supervision of someone who you respect, and even more importantly respects you.  Always be clear about your lifestyle- surprises are usually not welcomed with open arms.
2. Find good roommates (see preceding photograph).  This is outrageously important.  Sometimes living with your best friend isn't as great an idea as you originally thought- a good roommate is someone you live well with, and this doesn't always mean someone you really really like.  Make sure your habits mesh, if not match.
3. Location, location, location (see proceeding photograph).  Make sure you love where you live, and that includes who and what you live close to.

How To Brave The Subway, With Grace and Elegance

Though it is always preferable to take a taxi or have a driver pick you up, it is often not within the young lady's budget to do so, especially after a day at the shops. With this in mind, one should always be equipped with the means and knowledge to take public transport.

1. Carry tokens. Much easier (and often slightly less pricey) than buying a single fare over and over and over again.
2. Purchase a Day Pass when necessary. For all you Torontonians, this means upwards of four trips. Metro cards are great, though not always 100% practical for infrequent subway-goers.
3. Be aware of when the subway closes. Either this, or carry enough funding for a taxi if you simply must stay out late.
4. When actually in the car, be aware of other passengers. It is common courtesy to offer your seat to those who need it more than you. As a young person, this means everyone else. In particularity: pregnant women or mothers with their children, the elderly, injured parties, people with large shopping bags, etc.
5. While on the topic of shopping bags, try not to bring these onto the subway/streetcar/bus in abundance. They are a hassle to you, a nuisance to those around you, and do not qualify for a seat of their own.
6. If you find yourself having to stand, do not grumble about it. Place your feet squarely apart, at about shoulder-width, hold a railing for support, and be aware of the car's movement- you'll get the hang of it much more quickly than you'd think!
7. You don't have to make lasting bonds with everyone on the car, but you most certainly do not need to make mortal enemies either. Smile politely, respond to queries should they arise, and treat other passengers kindly.
8. If you see someone you know on the car, do not shout. Try to catch their eye, or make your way over to them if traffic allows. Now is not the time for a large commotion, so save the blubbering and carrying on for your high school reunion.
9. If you're riding with someone, keep your conversation to a low volume, and as always, appropriate. No one wants to hear about your wild night out, your life's biggest mistakes, or your (gasp!) bathroom activities. Keep private conversations just that- private.
10. Use up the space alloted to you, and no more. If seated, keep one ankle tucked behind the other, hand on lap, shopping bags neatly stowed beneath your seat. If standing, do not slump over, keep your arms, hands, legs, feet and wits about you and be conscious of others. Along these lines is scent, believe it or not. Perfume is an essential part of every lady's morning ritual, but be mindful of the power and intensity of this perfume. Try not to smother passengers with your lingering odour, even if it is pleasant.

And lastly, mind the gap!

How To Beat The Classroom Blues

True ladies are never inattentive in class. But if you've heard the lesson a million times, and simply can't stand it any longer, here's how to get away with not listening.

1. If you're on a computer, know how to close windows quickly and discreetly before opening any. Set your volume to mute, especially while surfing the net.
2. If you're writing notes, get ready for a quick page-flip.
3. Nod in agreement from time to time.
4. Do. Not. Text. In. Class. Save it for later, this is very very rude.
5. Never, ever place a telephone call in class! It's just outrageous.
6. Establish eye contact with your professor/teacher and smile knowingly.
7. If you're called upon to answer a question and you really haven't been listening, don't try to cover it up. You're about to get caught red-handed. Do not, however, admit defeat outright. Ask politely for your teacher to repeat themselves, as you seem to have missed the last part of what they said.
8. Whether you're on a computer or making written notes, keep something related to your class nearby as a cover-up.
9. When all else fails and a scolding is close-at-hand, pull a tissue from your handbag and run dramatically to the salle de bain- you're a girl, you'll get away with it.

Whenever possible, try to actually pay attention. Any lady worth her weight in leather-bound books will have a vast knowledge of many subjects that will come in handy in future conversations. Plus, teachers are people too. They deserve your respect and attention. A professional relationship with a teacher is one of the most valuable you'll ever have. Try not to ruin it.

How to Fondue

Tips for a Flawless Fondue Experience

1. Don't eat too much cheese, it expands in your stomach and makes for a very unpleasant tummy-ache.
2. Sit back and get comfortable, (with one leg tucked behind the other and proper posture, of course!) fondue takes a while.
3. Experiment with different combinations and offer to make something for the person seated next to you.  It's the culinary version of being the life of the party!
4. Just because you're roasting, grilling, dipping and boiling your own food, don't forget your manners!  Say please and thank-you and don't forget to pass nicely.
5. Never eat off the fondue fork, and be wary of other diners' dietary restrictions/preferences.
6. Drink plenty of water and eat slowly.  Since the servings are so small anyhow, savour every bite!
7. As at any dinner party, be sure to contribute your share of conversation, but don't be too stuffy- enjoy yourself, enjoy the food, enjoy the company!  And of course, offer your services to the host/ess by way of preparation, serving and/or set-up.

After the fondue is put away, make sure to take part (and do your very best to win) any board or card games offered.  And most importantly, even if you spill cheese on your lap, pour wine down your neighbour's back, or knock the fondue pot off its stand (try not to....) always thank your host/ess at the end of the evening.

Happy Fonduing!